Of Cartoons, Randomness, and Beef Jerky
by Ltkcoolnesslover
Summary: What if a whole bunch of cartoon characters got together and went on an epic quest for beef jerky? Find out in Cartoons, Randomness, and Beef Jerky! There may be another chapter, I'm not sure though.


One day Dora woke up and said, "I want beef jerky. I will go to Hello Kittie's house to see if she has any."

Dora went outside, still in her jammies, and hopped on her magical cow. The cow was actually a bull named Benny. Quickly, they rode off to Hello Kittie's house to get some beef jerky. On the way she met Winnie the Pooh.

"Oh golly," said Pooh. "I wish I had some honey."

"Well," said Dora. "I don't have any honey, but I'm going over to Hello Kittie's house to get some beef jerky. Would you like to come?"

"Oh yes, " said Pooh, "I hope it is honey smoked." They started to walk again and a very familiar melody started up. Dora and Winnie the Pooh started to sing!

"Come on, Vamanos! Everybody let's go! Come on let's get to it. I know that we can do it! Hello Kittie's house! Where are we going? Hello Kittie's house ! Whoo! Hello Kittie's house!"

"That was fun!" said Dora.

"Ya!," said Pooh.

"OMG!" yelled Dora. "It's Perry the Platypus!"

"Crrrrrrrrr!" said Perry.

"Oh, there you are Perry!" said Phineas. "Hey Ferb! Let's build a roller coaster in our backyard!"

"Alright," said Ferb.

"Well, thank God they're gone!" said Pooh.

"Crrrrrrrrr," said Dora.

"What?" asked Pooh.

"Nothing!" responded Dora.

"Ok!" said Pooh.

They continued on their way until they came to a lake.

"Oh dear!" said Dora. "Look at that icy lake! Well, we can't go over it. We can't go under it. I guess we'll have to row across it!"

"But, we don't have a boat," Pooh said.

"Oh, ya. You're right Pooh Bear. Ok, everyone, do you see a rowboat? Oh, there it is. It's right behind us! Thanks for your help!" said Dora

"Wow," said Pooh, "you couldn't find the rowboat, and it was right behind us! That's... stupid."

"Well, ya can't blame me! I have Snoodlebopoliteous disease!"

"What's Snoodlebopoliteous disease?" asked Pooh.

"It's a disease that makes me forget where I put things," answered Dora, "Now where are the keys for the boat?"

"It's a rowboat!" said Pooh, "It doesn't have keys!"

"Oh," said Dora, "Well I knew that!"

"Right..." Pooh said sarcastically.

"Crrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" said Dora, even more ferocious than the first time.

Suddenly something fell from the sky and hit Pooh on the head.

"Ow!" said Pooh, "What the heck was that?"

Pooh looked up ward to see Phineas and Ferb sitting on the beam of a roller coaster welding something into the metal framing.

"Oh great," said Pooh, "Those two again! Oh, just wait till I tell mom! They will be so busted!"

Pooh started to run off to find 'mom', but Dora quickly stopped him.

"Calm down!" Dora yelled to Pooh, "You don't need to bust them! Remember, that's Candace's job!"

"Right," said Pooh, "Stay calm."

"Hey guys!" Phineas shouted down at Pooh and Dora, "You want to ride across the lake on our roller coaster? It's a lot of fun you know!"

"No!" shouted Pooh

"Sure!" said Dora.

"Hop aboard!" Phineas said.

"Whoo hoo!" said Dora.

"Nooooooooooooo!" Pooh shouted, sounding quite a bit like Darth Vader.

Dora and Pooh climbed up on the roller coaster and fastened their seat belts.

"Are we ready to go?" Phineas asked.

"Ya sure," Pooh and Dora replied.

Ferb gave the thumbs up and pulled the leaver to start the roller coaster. After they launched from their starting spot on the roller coaster they hit something purple and green while they were going over the first loop.

"What was that?" Dora yelled over the screaming wind.

"It was probably just Barney," Phineas said, "He's been getting in the way a lot lately. Really, he's kind of getting what he deserves."

They all nodded in agreement as they watched Barney go sailing through the sky before landing with a tremendous splash in the water. Their satisfaction, though, quickly turned to disgust as they turned their heads away to avoid the image of a crocodile latch itself onto Barney's left arm. A series of screams and splashes followed. After the screams and splashes had ceased they all turned to each other with sad eyes.

"To a good dinosaur," Dora said folding her hands. All of the others did the same before simultaneously saying, "Amen."

Then Dora took some flowers put into her hand by who knows, Scooby Doo maybe, and tossed them into the lake below. They kept riding the roller coaster until they reached the other side of the lake.

"Thanks for the ride you guys!" Dora said as she and Pooh climbed off the roller coaster.

"Well, I guess it wasn't that bad," Pooh said.

"The average speed of a roller coaster is around 80 miles per hour. In short it really wouldn't be all that bad Pooooooooooooh bear," Ferb said really drawing out the "oooooooooooo."

Dora and Pooh started to walk off again, but quickly stopped.

"Um, you guys? said Dora, "Do you want to come with us? We are going to Hello Kittie's house to get some beef jerky."

"Sure!" said Phineas.

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" said Pooh, again sounding like Darth Vader.

"Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" said Dora, about to bite Pooh's head off.

"Oh, don't worry guys," said Phineas, "We'll behave. Plus we could build you a portable Jacuzzi!"

"Portable Jacuzzi! yelled Pooh, "I'm in!"

"Cool!" said Phineas, "Now all we have to do is follow the yellow brick sidewalk!"

They started walking down the yellow brick sidewalk until another creepily familiar melody started up. They started to sing!

"We're off to see Hello Kitty, the wonderful wizard of beef jerky..."

Suddenly Ferb interrupted the song.

"Why are we singing this nonsense? This isn't the Wizard of Oz!"

"You're right Ferb," said Dora, "We don't have to sing just because that's the way the writer of the story is writing it! Let's go on strike against the writer!'

"Hey Dora," said Ferb, "I didn't mean it against the writer! All I was saying was that we sound ridiculous singing like that! I have complete trust in the writer! I know she will write what is best for us! If she wants us to sing ridiculous songs then that's ok with me!"

"Hey, hey! Guys, calm down," Phineas said.

"No!" screamed Ferb and Dora.

Pooh did not know what to do standing in the middle of so much turmoil, so he said, "Hey guys, I've got a joke! Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!"

All of them started to laugh before Pooh said something else.

"Wait," Pooh said, "I just insulated myself!"

Now everyone but Pooh was laughing. Even Ferb and Dora were rolling on the ground nearly dying from laughter.

"Well," said an unfamiliar voice from behind them, "That was special... ED."

They all turned around top see Clifford staring at them.

"Hi!" Clifford said.

All of our little friends starred at the gigantic red dog with huge bug eyes and mouths agape.

"What," asked Clifford, "Do I have something on my face?"

"Ya..." said Dora, Pooh, Phineas, and Ferb letting their voices trail off a bit. Clifford went cross eyed, trying to see what was on his face.

"OMG! It's Benny! Bennys hanging on Clifford's face!" yelled Dora.

"Moooooooo!" said Benny.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" said Clifford, "Get it off!"

Clifford started to shake his hear wildly. Eventually he managed to shake Benny free. Benny landed on the ground with a sickening thud.

"Oh no!" said Clifford, "I hope I didn't kill him!"

"Mooooooooo." Benny said weakly.

"Good, he's alive!" said Dora.

Suddenly Benny disappeared.

"Wow," said Phineas, "That was weird,"

"We shouldn't worry too much, Benny is kind of weird." said Ferb.

"Ok!" the rest of them said.

They started walking again until they came to the swaying bridge over the 200,000 ft. deep canyon. They all starred down the edge of the canyon feeling sick to their stomachs.

"We have to cross over this?" Pooh asked, fear evident in his voice.

"If we want to get to Hello Kittie's house to get the beef jerky, yes." Dora answered.

"Too bad we didn't bring unicorns," Clifford said.

All of the rest of the friends looked at Clifford very weirdly.

"You'd need a really big unicorn! It would have to be about the size of six houses!" Phineas exclaimed.

Clifford was about to respond when his foot slipped and he tumbled over the edge of the cliff.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Clifford yelled as he fell.

"How many deaths are there gonna be in this story!" Ferb exclaimed.

"I'm not exactly sure," Pooh said.

"Hey guys," Phineas said, "look at this!"

They all turned toward Phineas' voice and saw him standing out in the middle of the bridge pointing down at something. Suddenly Phineas' foot slipped and he fell of the side of the bridge.

"Phineas!" Ferb yelled, louder than anyone had ever heard him yell before.

Dora and Pooh watched with plate sized eyes as Ferb ran and jumped over the side of the canyon after Phineas. Pooh looked over at Dora and stuttered,

"B-but they can't just go like that! They were actually nice!"

"Don't worry," said Dora, "those two are indestructible. I think they'll be alright!"

But whatever hope she had disappeared as she and Pooh looked over the edge of the seemingly bottomless canyon yet again.

Meanwhile Phineas was lying in a large pool of chocolate at the bottom of the canyon. Little did he, or the others, know that a delicious chocolate river ran through the bottom of the canyon and emptied into Fuggie Wuggie Lake. When Phineas had fallen, he plummeted to what he thought would be his end. Instead, he fell and landed in Fuggie Wuggie Lake! Now he was having a great time splashing around and eating chocolate. He was just about to dive under the chocolate to get another mouthful of those little fish that tasted strangely Swedish when something landed with a **sploosh** in the chocolate not very far away from him. When the thing surfaced, Phineas could see that this wasn't just any old thing. It was his brother! Er... stepbrother.

"Ferb!" Phineas yelled. His yell was so loud that it shook the canyon walls and made chunks of the canyon fall down into the river. The bit of land that Pooh and Dora were standing on also broke off and tumbled down into the river.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Pooh and Dora yelled as they fell. About a minute later Dora and Pooh landed in the lake. When they surfaced, they were coughing and sputtering but were mostly unharmed. Dora had a small cut on her hand and Pooh had a small bruise on his knee. These two were very lucky compared to one of their companions who was not far away from them.

"Ferb!" Phineas cried, shaking his unconscious brother's shoulders. Phineas was not a doctor but upon quick inspection he saw that his brother had at least two broken ribs and the bones in his left arm had been completely crushed. Ferb had landed in an extremely shallow part of the lake breaking many bones from hitting the bottom of it, which was only two fee below the surface. The others landed in a part of the lake that was twelve feet deep.

Dora and Pooh heard Phineas's ragged sobs and swam over to where Phineas' shaking form sat hunched over Ferb's unmoving body.

Dora gasped when she saw the sad scene in front of her. Wasn't it just minutes ago that they were all laughing and having fun on their way to Hello Kittie's house to get some beef jerky? Soon, they were all bawling.

Lucky for them, Tinkerbell just so happened to be passing along that way. When she saw them all sitting in the bottom of the canyon, she decided to help them.

"Hi guys," Tinkerbell said, "watcha doing?"

"Nothing, " Phineas said, still crying.

Tinkerbelle looked at Phineas and then the unconscious Ferb.

"I would hardly call this situation nothing," Tinkerbell replied.

"Oh just shut up!" Phineas yelled, "you're not helping anything!"

"You know," said Tinkerbell, "I could help you. I have magic fairy powers and I could heal your friend."

"Really!" Dora exclaimed, sounding hopeful.

"No," Tinkerbell said, "I was just lying about being a fairy and being able to fly and heal people."

"Drat!" said Pooh.

"Oh my gosh," Tinkerbell said, "don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?"

"I guess not," said Phineas.

"Well, do you want me to help your friend or not?"

"Yes, help him!" they all shouted back at Tinkerbell.

"Ok, ok!" she said, "Geesh!"

Tinkerbell pulled out her magical wand and pointed it at Ferb.

"Pickle poof!" Tink said and her magical wand started to glow in her hand. It glowed with an erie Lindsey's shirt blue. The light came and surrounded Ferb. It glowed brighter and brighter until, until, until, until, it made a "tooting" noise.

"What was that?" Phineas asked.

"Tinkerbell had a slight blush on her face and she smiled sheepishly before saying, "He, he. Whoops, my bad!"

"Well," said Pooh, "did it work? Is Ferb ok now?"

"Wait for it," Tinkerbell replied.

Dora, Pooh, and Phineas ducked behind a rock as if they expected that there would be an explosion. Instead Ferb just sat up and said, "Hey guys, what did I miss?"

Dora, Pooh, and Phineas sighed in relief. Tinkerbell crossed her arms on her chest and gave them an annoyed look.

"Well," said Dora I guess we should get going. It's nearly midday. We need to get to Hello Kittie's house before she runs out of beef jerky."

"Can I come?" asked Tinkerbell, "I've had a real hankering for some beef jerky lately."

"Sure!" said Dora.

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" shouted Pooh.

"I don't care," said Phineas.

"One for all and all for beef jerky," said Ferb.

"Crrrrrrrr!" said Perry.

"Oh, there you are Perry. You ran off again. Honestly, I have no clue where you're constantly running off to, but it must be very nice. You do go there a lot," said Phineas.

"Perhaps I was right when I said that Perry's a secret agent that one time," Ferb said.

"Maybe," Phineas replied.

Dora gave Pooh a flat look.

"Of course you can come Tink," Dora said without taking her eyes off of Pooh, "It'll be great to have you along, right Pooh?"

Pooh gulped, "Um, ya."

Soon they were all standing on the other side of the canyon, ready, again, to get on their way. As they walked farther and farther away from the canyon, the forest around them began to get much thicker.

"Wow," said Dora, "these sure are strange trees!"

The trees in that forest were, yes, very strange trees indeed. They had huge black trunks that seemed to stretch upward for hundreds of miles. The leaves were needles, much like those of a pine tree, but they were deep purple in color not green. Embedded in the long black trunks were shimmering diamonds in various shades of blues, reds, and greens.

"I think I'll call them Everpurples," Phineas said looking around in amazement.

"They are very pretty!" Tinkerbell said.

"This forest kind of gives me the creeps though," Ferb said glancing upward.

The forest was starting to get dark. It had already been quite dark in the forest because the massive trees' leaves did not let much light in, but now night was falling and it was becoming pitch black in the woods.

"Maybe we should settle down for the night," Pooh said nervously, "it's really getting creepy in here."

"I agree," said Dora, "Ferb, could you start up a campfire?"

"Sure thing girly," Ferb replied.

"Don't you bring that smack talk around here mister!" Dora said.

Ferb rolled his eyes.

"Phineas and I are gonna go and find some firewood," Pooh said.

"Ok," Dora replied.

Phineas and Pooh slowly walked through the woods. They carefully began to collect wood for the fire. A wolf howled in the distance and a twig snapped close to where they were. Both Pooh and Phineas looked with wide eyes in the direction the noises were coming from. Then a new sound started, a terrible _screee, screee, screee_.

"W-what was that?" Phineas stuttered.

"I -I don't know!" Pooh stuttered back.

Suddenly there was a bright light. Pooh and Phineas screamed.

"How dare you!" said a creepily familiar voice from the bright ball of light."

"W -who are you?" Phineas stammered.

"Who am I?" questioned the light, "who am I? I'm the thing that you hit with the roller coaster and let get eaten by crocodiles!"

"Barney?" Pooh asked.

"No you fool," the light shouted, "I am the ghost of Barney! Now you shall pay! Prepare to feel the wrath of my Dora, Pooh, Phineas, Ferb, and Tinkerbell bust-inator! Or D.P.P.F.A.T.B.I. for short. Hmmm, I really need to work on my acronyms. Oh well!"

The evil ghost of Barney started to fire up the ray.

"Look out!" yelled Pooh.

Pooh grabbed Phineas' head and yanked him to the ground just as an evil green bolt from the inator would have hit him.

Back at camp, Ferb and our two lovely ladies started to hear screaming and creepy zapping sounds coming from the direction that Phineas and Pooh had gone.

"You girls stay here," Ferb said, "I'm gonna go see what's going on."

Dora and Tinkerbell nodded.

After Ferb had left the clearing Dora turned to Tinkerbell and said, "We're probably going to have to go save them all, you know."

"Ya, I know," said Tinkerbell, "boys will never understand that girls are far superior to them."

"Hey," said Dora, "you want to call the PowerPufff Girls. They could probably help us."

"Sure," said Tinkerbell pulling out her phone. "What's their number?"

Back in the forest Pooh and Phineas were still dodging the green bolts from the inator when Ferb jumped into the clearing.

"Ferb, help us!" Phineas yelled when he saw his brother standing at the edge of the clearing. Before Ferb could do anything, though, a blue bolt, a pink bolt, and another green bolt shot out of the woods.

"OMG, it's the PowerPuff Girls!" Pooh yelled in surprise.

The boys watched in amazement as the PowerPuff Girls completely destroyed the D.P.P.F.A.T.B.I. with their epic ninja skills.

"Good work girls!" cheered Blossom, the pink PowerPuff. Bubbles giggled. Buttercup just looked really annoyed.

"Um, thanks for saving us," Phineas said looking rather dreamily at Buttercup, the green PowerPuff.

"Ewww!" Don't look at me like that," said Buttercup," I'm not going out with you!"

"Drat!" Phineas said.

"Hey, Phineas. Watcha doin?" said a menacing voice from behind them. Phineas turned around to see Isabella standing there with a look of dignified rage on her face. Phineas gulped.

Isabella screamed in rage and then bull charged at Phineas. Phineas started running in circles around a tree closely followed by Isabella. After running a few times around the tree, Phineas stepped over to the side of the tree, but Isabella just kept running around the tree screaming. Phineas watched Isabella running from his vantage point. He has a smirk on his face as he walked back over to the others.

"We can go back to camp now," Phineas said, "she won't realize that I'm gone for quite a while."

Pooh, Phineas, Ferb, and now the PowerPuff Girls headed back to camp. When they reached the camp, they saw Dora and Tinkerbell sitting on a log. In the erie glow from the campfire they could see the extremely sarcastic expression on their faces.

"Thanks girls," Tink said motioning to the PowerPuff Girls, "we owe you one!"

"No problem," said Blossom, "we're glad we could help!"

The girls saluted each other and the PowerPuffs went flying off into the night sky.

"How are you boys?" Dora asked in a slightly annoyed, slightly sarcastic tone.

The boys smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of their necks.

"He, he! Great! We're absolutely fine!" Phineas said with fake cheerfulness.

Dora and Tinkerbell rolled their eyes.

"Hey," said Ferb looking up through the branches at the sky, "I think it's morning."

The rest of the friends looked through the branches and at the sky, and sure enough, the sky was a beautiful light pink with shimmering golden clouds streaked through it.

"Wow," said Dora, "it's so beautiful this morning! I wonder how far away from Hello Kittie's house we are now?"

"We can't be far," said Ferb as they walked out of the other side of the forest. "Judging by how far we walked yesterday, Hello Kittie's house should be just over this ridge!"

But when hey got over the edge of the ridge they could see that this wasn't going to be easy. They all stood on the edge of a sheer cliff. Down in the valley below it was all barren except for one little house in the exact center of the wasteland.

"How are we going to get down?" Dora asked, her voice echoing across the desert valley below.

"Leave that to me!" Ferb said taking off his backpack that no one noticed he had until now. From his backpack Ferb pulled out four hand gliders.

"Take whatever one you want," Ferb said

"Wait," said Tinkerbell, "why don't I get a hang glider?"

"You have wings smart one," Ferb replied. Tinkerbell gave Ferb a nasty look.

"Alright," said Phineas, "let's get going!"

"How is it that you two aren't even a bit nervous about going on a hang glider?" Pooh asked Phineas and Ferb.

"We're completely used to it!" said Phineas.

"You know with all our adventures and all," Ferb added.

"Ok, then. Let's get going!" said Dora.

"Here we goooo!" shouted Peter Pan flying over them.

"What the heck was that?" Pooh asked.

"I have no idea," said Dora.

"Ok, then. Let's get going!" said Dora.

"Ok, now here we go," said Phineas.

They all jumped off the cliff with their hand gliders and glided down into the valley. As they were drifting downwards, they saw the Fruit Loops Toucan advertising his new chocolate covered Fruit Loops. He and his film crew, which were the French Peas from Veggie Tales, were filming the next commercial. A few moments later Stewie Griffen jumped out from behind a cactus and yelled, "Give me the chocolate covered Fruit Loops or I'll bury you all alive in h-whip cream!"

"Ok, where have I seen this before?" asked Dora. (Creepy background laughter).

"Where is that coming from?" asked Pooh.

"No idea," said Ferb as they glided over the set. They passed the area where they were filming the commercial just as Stewie exploded it in h-whip cream.

"Whoa, that was close!" said Phineas.

"Guys!" Wait for me!" Tinkerbell called from behind them. When she was close enough they could all see that she was covered from head to toe with whip cream.

"Thanks for leaving me in the whip cream explosion!" Tinkerbell yelled.

"Oops," Phineas said.

"Um guys," Pooh said, "guys!"

"What!" all the rest of them yelled.

Pooh pointed in front of them to a tree that no one had seen before. Some jungle music started up and so Dora, Pooh, Phineas, Ferb, and Tinkerbell said, "Watch out for that tree!" SMACK.

"Owwwwwwww!" Dora moaned as she sat up in the sand, "I think I broke my nose!"

The rest of them sat up and looked at each other.

"Well," said Pooh, " I don't think anyone got too hurt!"

Then Pooh noticed something. There was a body laying in the sand next to him. The body was wearing an orange parka. The hood of the parka covered the being's face, but he as easily recognizable.

"Oh my gosh! They killed Kenny!" yelled Pooh.

"You b - no, not even gonna say it," Dora said.

They all picked themselves up and dusted themselves off and yet again started to walk. Hello Kittie's house was in plane sight now. They started to run toward it. They could almost taste that succulent beef jerky now! Running as fat as they could, they all burst through Hello Kittie's door. They all started blurting out random sentences simultaneously but stopped suddenly as they could see that Hello Kitty had just gotten out of the shower and didn't have a towel on. Hello Kitty shrieked and grabbed for something to cover herself. The others turned quickly until Hello Kitty said, "Yes?"

They all turned back toward Hello Kitty who looked rather angry yet embarrassed at the same time.

"Um... we come in peace Hello Kitty!" Phineas said.

Dora, Pooh, Ferb, and Tinkerbell looked at Phineas weirdly. Hello Kittle looked ready to explode.

"Ur. . . I'm so sorry for the intrusion Hello Kitty. We just came over to see if you had any beef jerky," said Dora.

"Just came over?" asked Pooh, "we traveled through just about everything risking our lives to get over here for some beef jerky!"

Hello Kitty sighed.

"I'm gonna say the same thing I said to everyone else. I don't have any beef jerky. It was stolen!" said Hello Kitty.

They all looked inside Hello Kittie's house to see Benny, Barney, Clifford, the PowerPuff Girls, Stewie, and Kenny sitting on Hello Kittie's couch with sad looks on their faces.

"So what you're saying is that you have no beef jerky," Ferb said.

"Nope," Hello Kitty replied, "no beef jerky."

"Really?" asked Phineas.

"Ya, really," Hello Kitty said.

"!" shouted Pooh.

THE END


End file.
